3 Tips to Show Yourself the Kindness You Deserve

Sure, November is the kickstart to the holiday season and excitement of the new year, but it can also be kind of a challenging month. The afternoon sun seems to hit just after lunch and it’s dark before dinner. The fog gets thicker, there is a chill in the air, and the green around us disappears. At least for me, it’s easy to let this dreariness get in my head. For me this looks like never having enough time and always feeling behind on something. If I am not careful, this can really affect how I treat myself and the kindness of my self-talk. 

It’s in this winter season that it is of utmost importance that we remember to be kind to ourselves. For this blog I wanted to provide some tips for showing kindness to yourself. 

  • Remember that you are human and mistakes happen

We must remember that we are only human and sometimes we make mistakes. We forget things. We miss deadlines and we fail people. Obviously we want to limit these things from happening, but we must accept that they do, and they happen to everyone. You are not a failure for missing a deadline or forgetting an appointment. Rather than beating yourself up for the mistake, try looking at what happened to see how you can keep it from happening again in the future. 

  • Protect your boundaries.

You are allowed to have your voice heard and to do what you need for yourself. This season often brings lots of activities and expectations (holiday parties, get-togethers, secret santas, etc). You don’t have to be involved in everything. If it is exhausting for you to have plans so many evenings and weekends, try saying ‘no’ once in awhile. Perhaps a friend invites you to their holiday party and you’re exhausted, you could say “Thank you so much for inviting me. I would love to get together but unfortunately won’t be able to attend your party. I hope it goes well and I would love to see you! Could we get together after the holidays?” 

  • Keep your self-talk positive.

When you make a mistake don’t allow yourself to go down the “I’m such an idiot, I can’t believe I did that, I’m so stupid” rabbit hole. First of all, don’t talk about my friend that way! We are our own harshest critics and often hold ourselves to impossibly high standards that we have no chance of achieving. Yes, it’s important to hold ourselves accountable, but try doing it from the perspective of being your own best friend or your personal success coach. When you make a mistake, take responsibility for it and move on. Even better, review to see what you can learn from it. Whatever you do, be supportive of yourself and don’t berate yourself too harshly. 

Those are my top tips for being kind to yourself during this winter season. If you find this to be a time of year that is particularly difficult for you, review symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder and consider talking to your doctor. It can also be helpful to find community. Consider finding somewhere to volunteer, seeing how you can get involved in your child’s school, or coming to an upcoming event at The Women’s Wellness Center

Remember that seasons and moods are both fluid things that ebb and flow as time progresses. The sun will come back and there will be blooms on the trees before we know it. Till then, remember to be kind to yourself by accepting your human-ness, honoring what you need, and being on your own team.